Almost Sunday

I love it as each week my little header up on the top of this blog updates to a new illustration. When I first put it up there, the pregnancy looked like a pencil eraser. Whenever I click over and realize that the pic has changed, I'm shocked at the changes. But the day to day goes so slowly.

Today was not good, then was good. I wish so much to communicate to the 3 other members of this family how absolutely so much better their lives would be if they let me sleep. Maybe not even sleep in, but let me sleep. As far as Saturdays are concerned, I would like to think that they are my one day that I don't have to get the kids ready. No one else seems to think that. I was a yelling, swearing lunatic this morning 15 minutes before Ivy was to be at dance class. And then Chris yelled at me, I yelled back and Ivy teared up. It was resolved quickly and boy did I milk the guilt on that almost all morning, but I'm beginning to think that they all need a show of consequences of waking me up to change the pattern. Nicey nicey is not working.

So then I was grouchy, cry-y and HOT thru the little league game of my nephew this morning. Then I came home for a 4 hour nap. A few bites of salmon and strawberries. And the world became a gentle place. Amazing how things can turn around.We had a sitter tonight and went to an AAU basketball game and a wedding reception where I wore the most adorable dress that I have purchased this year. While it still fits I"m going to have to take a photo because it is too cute not to share. At the reception I had prawns the size of my palm, small little chicken ceasar wraps and a pink lemonade. It felt so good to eat! Now watch me pay for it tomorrow! Oh well, nourishment is a great thing even if it only happens every other day.

I'm very nervous for the u/s on Tuesday. I have had many u/s that did not bring good news. The dark and the quiet and that flickery screen creep me out. But, we may have good news this time. So many worries take away the excitement. What if there are no heart tones? What if I have an ectopic? What if they don't tell me anything? What if I have to wait another week? I'm glad that it is so much closer so I can get it over with. And if it does turn out well, then I'm telling you guys! That'll be fun.

I finally told my friend today thru a text about this pregnancy. She is Gus' mom, (who I still need to tell you all about) and I was so worried to tell her. She will be heartbroken and sad and happy and will remember. But, I got it over with and told her I didn't want to talk about it and that I was scared. She left me the coolest message saying that she knew I didn't want to talk, but that her advice, which is perfect, is: "it is what it is" This pregnancy is what it is. No matter how much worry or thought or fear or love or excitement I throw it's way, it is what it is. She also told me that she was scared for me too. And that she loved me. I just needed to hear it all. I'm glad that it is over and I'm not thinking of it anymore.