The hair and Chris finally lets the cat out

To answer Kelly's question, about a month or so ago, my hair was causing me great concern. The piecey-ness had grown out to a Carol Brady, not so attractive, bi layered mess. I had just decided to hire the housekeeper so $ was on my mind. I took a pair of scissors to the office and asked my mom or my sis to hack it off. My sis took on the challenge and it is no longer causing me grief. It's gonna stay short for the summer at least!
We got a new car last week to accomodate the growing group of children in this place. 7 seats! Yeah! I can fill those seats with my eyes closed and the help our our adoption agency.
Last night at the reception Chris was showing his sister and her bf the new car. When I was dancing with one of Chris' step sisters, he FINALLY told his sis that we are expecting. He hadn't told anyone yet. That is so difficult when all my fam knows but his doesn't.
I told Chris last week that I was starting to show. He so did not believe me. HA!
I asked him why he ended up telling her last night. He said, "Um, while you were dancing with Tracy looking all pregnant, I had to say something!" I said, " I TOLD YOU I was showing!!" He got a big smile on his face and said, "Yeah, you really are." HA!
I guess that he said to them, "So, I guess you know why we need a bigger car." His sister started laughing and said, "As soon as you two walked in, I wanted to say, ' How far along are you guys?' Then my bf said something, but we just decided to keep our mouths shut until one of you said something."
I knew I was showing.

Still fits!

13 weeks pregnant
You are looking at my favorite pre pregnancy purchase, my main dress for the summer. I wore it last month in our home town to a wedding reception. The above pics are from tonight where we had to go to a neighboring town for a wedding reception. Next month we have another wedding reception in another town and I'm hoping to wear it then too. It will be interesting to see if I can still zip the zipper and breathe. Yeah, breathing would be a bonus.

We were staring into a 90 + degree sun in these photos. Regardless, I'm so missing my Botox. Did you know that you can't do Botox while you are pregnant? Ah, the sacrifices I make for these kids. So not only do I feel older than the hills, my skin around my eyes looks it!

PS. We had fun at the reception and I did not expect to. Love that!

Boy or Girl?

What do you think it is?

This pregnancy has brought forth such passionate opinions that I'm surprised. And, the funny thing is that I have no clue. When I was pregs with Ivy, I KNEW she was a girl from the get go. This one, I have absolutely no feeling either way.

I have a girlfriend who is very intuitive and she came up to me yesterday and said, "This one is a girl". I have a tendency to think that she will be the one that is correct, but you know how that goes! Most everyone else (sister, sis in law, cousin, therapist) feels like it is a boy.

I had a dream last night that we had a girl. We were in the delivery room and for some reason in my dream we hadn't found out the sex yet. When they pulled her out of me, they said, "It's a girl!" and we were all happy.

We are finding out when we get the chance. I'm a need to know kind of gal as you all are well aware!

So, what is your vote?

All's Well!

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Waving Hello

Little one looks great! Kept doing backspins and being a wiggle worm the whole time. Seems it will fit in with brother and sister just fine with all of the activity going on in there.

Hopefully next u/s we will get to see what we are having!

Sooner than later

Well, suprisingly, I think that I may have been looking forward to having another tiny newborn.
I was looking thru an old Oprah magazine today and a small photo in a photo collage caught my eye. It was a pic from the early 80s or late 70s of a mama in a hospital bed, holding her newborn son.
Something about the image stopped me. I turned back and looked at it and thought, "Awwww." And then, slowly, a thought came to me. I might be in a situation like that at the end of this year. That could be a photo representation of me. Wow. Maybe I am processing this a bit better than I thought.
Recently, when I see a newborn in person, I automatically turn my head. I can't even look. My friend's son is still an infant. I coo over him. I love him. I buy things for him. But I don't touch him. If I have to hold him, I hand him back quickly. It is too much, too soon. He reminds me of what all of this pregnancy stuff is all about. It's a lot to feel. Especially with his sweet smell and his tiny perfectness.
When he had troubles with seizures a couple of weeks after his birth, I was terrified. I kept thinking, but he's perfect. He's here. And then, my shadow side said, "Babies die everyday Karianne. You know this. He is not safe." And all of my fears were back.
I detached so completely when I was pregs with Ivy. The concept of losing her was too huge, so I unconsciously decided to not engage the whole time. Everything was last minute. My bag was packed while I was in labor. The crib set up the week before, not a bit sooner. Absolutely no pregnancy articles, shows, magazine, books or images. And, when it was all said and done, I never thought that she would be born alive. Or if she was, that she would die before I brought her home. I never made that pregnancy=baby connection. I had up too many safeguards to keep myself from not going insane.
This time, I still have my arms crossed. Not open yet. But, that small little photo was a little prod for me to consider a different outcome. Astoundingly, I may be that woman. I've walked the walk for 12 weeks.
Now, lets just see how Wednesday's u/s goes.
And my infection is much better. Yeah!
I'm taping that pic to my desk. Positive reminders are good.

Misery, Party of One

OK gals, I'm sick. Sinus infection, antibiotic sick. Raspy, croaky sick. Face pain, throat pain, neck pain, ear pain sick. Fever with chills sick. Can barely turn my head sick.
My midwife called in an antibiotic for me to pick up tomorrow. I so hope that it works. Besides having allergies to about every scent, did you know that I am allergic to penicillin, erythromyacin and sulfa antibiotics? Holy.
But all of this pales in comparison to my worries about what this is all doing to the fetus. So many meds. No food. Poor little thing.
I think that I'm about to put myself on bedrest! Of course Ivy has swim lessons and tennis lessons this week. Of course. I'm off to the tub.

Dr. Update

Went in to see the midwife about this cold and although there is a lot of congestion, there isn't any infection yet. Yeah!
So, we are going to try to get out of this without antibiotics. Which at this point means, rest, fluids, tylenol sinus and hot packs to my face.
I had no idea how effective over the counter meds can be. The tylenol has made me feel somewhat better.

Jinxed!

I'm sick. I'm heading into the doctor today with a head/chest cold the likes of which I haven't seen for years. After my post about feeling so much better, I awoke to a sore ear, a sore throat and a sore chest. Even my face hurts, so I'm thinking that I must have had one of my infamous, lurking sinus infections that took over the rest of me.
Being pregnant throws so many things into an event. Normally, I have my self care, doctor visit routines down in cases like this. But being pregnant throws all of that out of the window. I end up looking at the little tub of Vaporub and think, "Am I supposed to use this now?" It puts a question mark on everything.

Hmmm

Hey, doesn't that baby on the ticker look like a black eyed pea? :)

I've been keeping this quiet for a few days because I don't want to jinx myself. I think that I may have mentioned something to Carrie, but that's about it. So, the big news? I think that I'm feeling better!
Monday I felt so so. And I mentioned this improvement to my siblings. But then Tuesday was horrible and I decided to keep my mouth shut after that. Wednesday was pretty good, Thursday not so, but yesterday I went until about 1130 pm without feeling nauseous! And today I have done really well with some twinges of ickiness, but nothing like before. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me! I have even worked out twice this week and went swimming today. Ah, I like having me back. Even if it is hit and miss. I was missing myself.
Still no appetite to speak of, but since I feel better, it is so much easier to force myself to eat. I almost ate a half of a pint of strawberries (strawbabies) on my own today along with a roll, some crackers and cheese, and a few noodles. Amazing! I might even have Chris make me an egg tonight to up the protein intake for today.
Tomorrow Chris will be celebrating his father with a bbq at his dad's house that I will be skipping because of the meat. Steaks. Don't think that I can even think about going there yet! And, since Chris is still all hush hush about the pregnancy, they would be trying to force feed me and I'd end up getting frustrated. My siblings and I are going to try to get together to celebrate my stepdad at about the same time as the bbq so it won't be too obvious that I'm missing from Chris' dad's celebration.
I cooked a dinner for Chris tonight for his father's day and tomorrow will give him gifts and maybe go to breakfast depending on when the kiddos wake up. I bought him a Tiger Woods golf game that he wanted and an ice cream maker. I think that he will like them both.

A pleading letter

Dear pretty lady at Borders yesterday and the cute teens in the grocery today,

You have no idea how awful I felt after encountering you in public recently. I am hoping to give you the benefit of the doubt, so I am writing this pleading, educational letter to clue you in to some thing that you did that you might not view as rude and far reaching as it was/is.

In shortened terms, you stink. Not in a b.o. type of way, but in the perfume-y type of way. Lady at Borders, I had to stand 2 people lengths away from you to breathe without coughing and having my eyes water. Then I had to get out of line all together. Girls, all you did was pass by me in the aisles.

Yes, I am sensitive to smells. Yes, I am allergic to most everything and can't even walk down the laundry aisle or walk into a department store without holding my breath. This is not your problem, but mine.

Please, in the future, please think about those of us who cannot help our asthma. Little did you know that when I smell these smells, especially while pregnant, I panic. Almost full on panic because I am in danger and so is my pregnancy through no fault of my own. My sense of scent is overly active. My doctors tell me to avoid my steroid inhaler at all costs besides dying of oxygen deprivation on the floor. After my encounters with you, I have to remain calm and take stock of my breathing situation which is already sketchy at best while pregnant. Do I need to go outside? Do I need to call someone to drive me to the er? Can I drive myself to the er? Or, am I doing ok?

Lastly, you are all beautiful without your scent. Save it for your hubby or boyfriends in the privacy of your homes. It will save you some money and could possibly save even more.

Thanks for listening,

Karianne
asthmatic, allergic mother to 2 and then some

previous morning sicknesses

To answer some comment questions, I was not sick like this with Ivy. There is part of me that wished that I would have been because I possibly wouldn't have had so much anxiety during the pregnancy with her. I was not on any medication and kind of mentally removed myself from what was going on inside of me. The worst that I felt with her was that I had an icky taste in my mouth for a few months. Like I was sucking on a dirty nickel. But I was able to eat, as was evidenced by my weight gain of 26 pounds!

Bec's pregnancy was the ultimate. If I got a chance to choose between which way I would be pregnant, I would choose to duplicate his again in a heart beat. No anxiety. No weight gain. No morning sickness. Yes, it was that close to perfect. If you ask his Africa mommy though, she might have a different story than mine since she did all of the work! What an amazing woman. I can't tell you the love I feel for her.

As they say, every pregnancy is different. And yes, I will agree whole heartedly with that now :) Even before my test came up positive, I was sicker than a dog and TIRED with this one! I'm at least up moving around now, and I'm really hoping that I am getting better, though it is hard to tell. I'm hoping that soon I will be saying, "I didn't even realize how badly I felt before. I feel so incredible now!" Let's hope!!

Things that make me want to puke

1. bending down
2. driving
3. smelling exhaust
4. turning my head too fast
5. raw meat
6. smell of meat cooking
7. brushing my teeth
8. holding a paintbrush in my mouth
9. scrolling on the computer
10. knowing that I already feel pukey, but pushing thru it anyway
11. the kitchen garbage sitting for more than 24 hours
12. drains (sinks, tubs, toilets, etc)
13. waiting laundry

And I'm sure that I'll come up with more before this is over.

Ticker Troubles

Ivy's Birth Announcement and 2 week photo

My ticker from above has been missing as the web site has been down for a few days. I hope that it comes back up soon. I really liked it, even if it did look like an ear.

Last night I got an email newsletter about the 9th week of pregnancy. It says that the embryo is the size of a grape. Remember when it was the size of a grain of rice?

I got my doppler rental and have been able to hear the heartbeat this weekend. It's funny though. I just learned that it is supposedly swimming around in my uterus, but I can't feel it. (Creepy) But, when I am doing the doppler, I find the heartbeat, and then it scurries away. It weirds me out!

I turned down an rx for zofran this last appt. because although it is a pain, it is reassuring to have the continual morning sickness. It also keeps me on track on eating healthy stuff. I do not want to replay my pregnancy weight that I had with miss ivy. Although it was only 26 pounds, that was a lot for me and perfect for her. She was the biggest of all 7 grandkids! Since I kept on a good 5 pounds from that time, I'm thinking that 26 pounds would be way too much! Remember, I'm only 5 feet tall :)

Have a great week